It’s definitely beginning to look a lot like Christmas. It’s the first time in a very long time I’m feeling festive. It doesn’t stop the bad thoughts that love to creep in but, I know that this is a part of who I am and I just need to find ways around those bad thoughts and work my way through it all.
Ultimately these bad thoughts are usually triggered by something that sends me hurtling back to all of the negative times. The worst of these has been recently, I did not do as well as I thought I would have on work and it send me flying back to when I was younger and being told I’m not smart enough and I will never achieve. Thoughts like that are hard to block out and it can be difficult to move forwards sometimes.
I knew that this was a huge trigger but had to push through that and find my way forward again. So after 24 hours of wallowing in self pity (I think I needed to) I began working on how to improve and do better for next time round.
My support networks have been amazing as always. It’s just a shame that those who should be supportive expect more than ever from me and offer nothing in return.
Here’s to knowing what causes a trigger and working through it all.
Wishing everyone a safe and happy Christmas and all the best for the new year
Journeying through mental health 