This week has been a very strange week. Coming off of the back of a weekend where people have made me question why I’m doing a degree. Comments such as “no one asked you to do it” and “well it’s not my problem you want to be a teacher. I don’t know why you’d even want to bother” obviously put me in an odd mood where I have genuinely questioned everything. Then to get news at work which was supposed to be good and a positive move for me set my anxiety to an all time high.
I have honestly never seen my anxiety do that at work and I spent 48 hours if not a few more severely questioning absolutely everything. I went from excited to I’m not wanted in under 12 hours. While I knew most of it was my anxiety talking there was just no stopping it. For the first time in nearly six years I cried at work.
While I am feeling better about then changes I am also terrified of getting it all so wrong. That feeling of never being good enough never really leaves. Being told for so much of your life that you are stupid will always leave such a profound effect on a person. I am sure that is why I’d rather think that I’m not good enough. It’s easier to that than build yourself up and then get knocked down.
I cannot thank those that did help me this week and have calmed my worries.
As always stay safe and look after yourself
Journeying through mental health 