Things you may not know about me.

Most people think they have me worked out. Look there she goes always smiling, always happy. The rest probably think I’m a bit rude, but whatever.

Truth be told there a lot of things people do not know about me. Let’s take a trip to the things you didn’t know.

1) Loud noises terrify me. This is probably due to the shouting and banging growing up. To this day a raised voice will make me jump or give flashbacks. Slamming doors or even something being dropped will always trigger something. It’s probably why I am so quiet, sometimes I’d rather go unnoticed.

2) I genuinely am not rude, just cautious. I have a feeling when people meet me they think I’m rude which I am not. I just prefer to keep myself to myself until you get to know me. Once you get to know me you realise I’m actually just weird but you will probably still love me.

3) I will always push for what is right. Most of you probably do know that already. But if I think something is wrong I will say about it. Sometimes diplomatically other times it just comes out of my mouth. I often feel sorry for anyone who is at the end of my having something to say. Although I do know professionally the person I go to understands that it’s usually because I want the best for someone. I always make sure I apologise for my outbursts too.

4) I to actually want children I’m just scared they will end up with the same mental health issues as me. Also I do not want then surrounded by the negativity of my family. I would never want for a child to go through what I did. I’m also terrified of having a real relationship in case they are like my father. My go to is always I don’t want when actually that is not true

5) Despite what everyone thinks and how I perceive myself I actually hate Christmas. While I love Christmas films and Christmas songs and even a good Christmas jumper. The day itself fills me with dread. When I was younger there was always something for someone to complain about. I do not remember really ever getting through the day without being yelled at for playing with a gift or even just sitting there. Even now there is always a huge argument on the day itself. My mother and youngest sister will always find something to write about or sit and give out their orders, especially how to cook a dinner. This usually results in feeling very stressed and hating the day. Gifts are never good enough for them either both just look at them and then never use them. Even when it is something they have asked for.

So there you have it things you never knew about me.